The Mercury Travel Club: Getting your life back on track has never been more funny! by Helen Bridgett

Author:Helen Bridgett [Bridgett, Helen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: RedDoor Publishing
Published: 2017-05-28T18:30:00+00:00

Artistic Differences

If I were a cartoon character, I’d be walking along the street with little cherubs fluttering around my head. Now that I think about it, how did they ever come to represent love? What on earth is romantic about fat children armed with bows and arrows? Nowadays, they’d be slapped with an ASBO and if you saw them in a family pub, you’d run a mile.

Anyway, enough with reality; I think I might be the tiniest bit smitten. After dinner we had a quick drink and then he walked me home. Not all the way home – I didn’t want that awkward ‘Do I invite him in or not? ’ scenario – but to the end of the street where we progressed to a ‘more than friends’ kiss. It didn’t feel too awkward so I’m starting to imagine that falling in love at fifty might be just like falling in love at any age. Not that I’m falling in love, of course; I’m just very happy.

Patty is not.

‘Bo, can you come round tonight and give us your objective opinion?’ she pleads.

She rarely wants my opinion, so I know what she’s actually asking is for me to tell the rest of the Granny-Okes that she is right and they are wrong.

They are having costume and set list disagreements ahead of the cruise gig. I’m curious about it so agree to arbitrate. Patty and the girls are struggling with the transition from small-time club singers to big-time stadium fillers, or at least you’d think they were with the angst that fills the room.

Kath and Sheila think things are good as they are; everyone enjoyed the last gig and that’s the performance Craig hired them for.

All good points I think as I turn my head to Patty; this is like being the umpire at a tennis match. So far Patty is fifteen-love down.

‘But every act has to progress,’ she counters, ‘otherwise people will get bored and stop coming to see them.’

Fifteen-all.

‘On this cruise we can’t just dress up like these people. Adam Ant might actually be there,’ she adds.

Thirty-fifteen.

‘That makes it even funnier,’ says Kath. ‘He could chase us off the stage or something.’

Thirty-all.

‘These artists aren’t props on a Granny-Oke gig,’ says Patty. ‘They take their music seriously and we have to if we want this to last.’

Forty-thirty.

‘Let’s build an identity of our own,’ urges Patty, ‘keep some of the things that work, like the Zimmer frames, but have a look that makes other people want to dress up like us.

‘No one wants to be the starter act on these tours,’ she continues, ‘but we don’t mind. We could be travelling the world if we want to. Come on let’s go for this, please.’

I’m impressed and when I look back over at Sheila and Kath, they are too. The nodding heads tell me that this rally is over.

Game, set and match to Patty.

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